We are puppets tied to strings,
Controlled by a puppeteer,
Life is what each one calls,
He governs the entire cluster.
The puppets earn him his bread,
But has to follow some rules,
A balance necessarily followed,
He is a victim of his own rules.
His friends are death and time,
Who help him in his play,
Generation, evolution and destruction,
Unavoidable phenomena in every way.
He calls us ‘being’, his bread winners,
And endows power upon each one,
To chose a role of our own,
And maintain a flow in the long run.
Obsession of power envelopes his puppets,
Some even try to defy his laws,
Extending their power to the zenith,
Still unable to escape his claws.
He is invincible for any single puppet,
Even a majority may prove less,
Only a puppet who can see the larger picture,
Realizes, against life, he is always helpless.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Change.
I always thought that it was my quest for satisfaction that made my life a constant struggle. however, when i look at the past i realize that my quest was victorious in parts. it is when i ponder, i realize that i started my struggle with an ideal intention. the struggle at one point of time became so intense that the pace of it consumed me distracting me from my real intentions. now, i was fighting with life because i had to fight not because i wanted to. it became a habit. finally, life took a pause. it gave me a chance to assess what i had turned my life into and how i wish to mould it in future.
It is now that i take my time to realize that my struggle was never to achieve satisfaction. satisfaction derives its importance from the existence of unhappiness and pain. satisfaction is the absence of that struggle wherein all you want to achieve is satisfaction. i got blinded by my struggle and accepted my life to be a constant struggle. today, life provided me a pause to realize what i have been fighting for so long isn't satisfaction. it is change.
I want satisfaction to last forever. i do not wish to see it change into anything else that i haven't known it to be. when i stepped into this world, i was placed satisfactorily in my mother's womb. i was warm with care, i was protected, i was never hungry or thirsty; i was satisfied and that's the way i was born. but slowly life changed. i had to express my need for care, i had to protect myself and look after my own bread. even worse was the fact that something as simple as a touch, a word, a gesture, a silence, presence or absence of someone and similar ideas that could easily lose its meaning in the larger world started creating a chaos in my life. i became so vulnerable that every second of life possessed a phenomenon that could change how things were in the earlier second.
Like many others i grew tired. fortunately, my life gave me a chance to understand what i was struggling for. once again i wanted to be cared without expressing the need to be cared, i wanted to be protected and fed; i wanted life to not change from the way i knew it for the first time. but what is done cannot be undone. all i can do is try to continue my quest for satisfaction without losing track of my true goal so that when i achieve that momentary satisfaction i am able to endure it.
It is now that i take my time to realize that my struggle was never to achieve satisfaction. satisfaction derives its importance from the existence of unhappiness and pain. satisfaction is the absence of that struggle wherein all you want to achieve is satisfaction. i got blinded by my struggle and accepted my life to be a constant struggle. today, life provided me a pause to realize what i have been fighting for so long isn't satisfaction. it is change.
I want satisfaction to last forever. i do not wish to see it change into anything else that i haven't known it to be. when i stepped into this world, i was placed satisfactorily in my mother's womb. i was warm with care, i was protected, i was never hungry or thirsty; i was satisfied and that's the way i was born. but slowly life changed. i had to express my need for care, i had to protect myself and look after my own bread. even worse was the fact that something as simple as a touch, a word, a gesture, a silence, presence or absence of someone and similar ideas that could easily lose its meaning in the larger world started creating a chaos in my life. i became so vulnerable that every second of life possessed a phenomenon that could change how things were in the earlier second.
Like many others i grew tired. fortunately, my life gave me a chance to understand what i was struggling for. once again i wanted to be cared without expressing the need to be cared, i wanted to be protected and fed; i wanted life to not change from the way i knew it for the first time. but what is done cannot be undone. all i can do is try to continue my quest for satisfaction without losing track of my true goal so that when i achieve that momentary satisfaction i am able to endure it.
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Surpassing Me.
One of the most relaxing moments for me are the ones when i keep all my work aside and recollect all the memories since childhood that i treasure. i don't just reminisce. i also bring back memories of tragic moments. in the course of time, it has become a routine. the aspect of this routine that keeps the interest in my memories alive is that every time i get back to an old memory it has something more to offer. every time i analyze it, i realize that there has been a further event that has provided a greater perception of a previous event. it helps me grow as i prepare myself for impending challenges.
You always cherish the idea of a better future. especially, as a child, you dream to conquer the world and are willing to make every possible sacrifice. however, as you grow old you tend to grow fond of these sacrifices. something we fail to realize is that, at times, we chase the same dreams we once portrayed in our mind as children. the difference lays in the vision. the idea becomes less hypothetical as we advance. also our vision narrows. our definition of achievement becomes more and more complicated.
As a child it is a general scenario wherein parents compare their children to other children of the same age group performing better. parents always strive to set role models for their children- be it a legend or just the neighbourhood lad who brings home better test scores or behaves more obediently. a child never understands the true motive of his parents. the child himself faces an obscure conundrum. something we fail to realize is the individuality. unfortunately, we need a reference. it is not just the parents portraying their child to be a successful individual but the child himself trying to step into the shoes of a different person.
As a child i had my role models, my ideologies, my definitions. with time, they changed. either they changed because i did or vice versa. in either case, there was one factor that remained unchanged- achievement. irrespective of the role model, ideologies or definitions, i always wanted to achieve. the quest for achievement demanded me to change for better or worse. however, the reference for better or worse wasn't my idol or ideology- it was me. it was then i began the quest for surpassing me.
You always cherish the idea of a better future. especially, as a child, you dream to conquer the world and are willing to make every possible sacrifice. however, as you grow old you tend to grow fond of these sacrifices. something we fail to realize is that, at times, we chase the same dreams we once portrayed in our mind as children. the difference lays in the vision. the idea becomes less hypothetical as we advance. also our vision narrows. our definition of achievement becomes more and more complicated.
As a child it is a general scenario wherein parents compare their children to other children of the same age group performing better. parents always strive to set role models for their children- be it a legend or just the neighbourhood lad who brings home better test scores or behaves more obediently. a child never understands the true motive of his parents. the child himself faces an obscure conundrum. something we fail to realize is the individuality. unfortunately, we need a reference. it is not just the parents portraying their child to be a successful individual but the child himself trying to step into the shoes of a different person.
As a child i had my role models, my ideologies, my definitions. with time, they changed. either they changed because i did or vice versa. in either case, there was one factor that remained unchanged- achievement. irrespective of the role model, ideologies or definitions, i always wanted to achieve. the quest for achievement demanded me to change for better or worse. however, the reference for better or worse wasn't my idol or ideology- it was me. it was then i began the quest for surpassing me.
Monday, July 19, 2010
Profession.
I was in school when i first learnt the secret of succeeding in a career. a secret that has been learnt by almost every teenager during his or her school days. the simplest philosophy that most of us voluntarily or involuntarily attempt to apply to our lives. the secret- make your passion, your profession. the key is to enjoy your profession in order to be more efficient and to succeed. obviously, getting into a profession and succeeding in that profession are two different aspects of a career.
Unfortunately, the scenario today is a little different. although, the society still believes in teaching the younger generation to be passionate about their profession and chose their hobby as their career, the practical scenario has a different story to unveil. i am a graduate. more precisely, i am an engineer. but engineering is not my passion. i have various hobbies and have been asked by many as to why i never considered choosing my hobby as my career. i never bothered justifying them because most Indians are too idealistic with their advices. i do not say that my theories are completely practical or its the ultimate reality but its my experience, my story.
As i grew older, the industry somewhere failed to assure me the success if i chose my hobby as my profession. another point of view could be that i was myslef never confident of succeeding in that field. not because i wasn't good but because i wasn't the best. someone may suggest that not everyone is born best but requires to work in order to become the best. this is where the industry did not seem supportive.
The way i mentioned about the secret of success known by every teenager then, there is another secret of success known by every graduate today. "In order to enter the industry, every candidate should be able to sell himself to the company. and even as a person works in an industry he requires to sustain a higher value for himself. every step, he should have something to offer to the industry. because today, the industry does not require an employee, the employee needs the industry." With globalization, the skills that were once acquired through hardwork and intelligence are now on sale. can an era in which knowledge and philosophy are marketed, value a person's passion? at the end of the day, its not always about right and wrong, its about profit and loss. more importantly, its not about personal satisfaction; its about the company's satisfaction.
I dont need to explain what a hobby is. however, we all agree that in a particular passion that we practice, we tend to experiment with our ideas. there is a certain freedom of thought; unconstrained. the end result is a new creation which provides you with self satisfaction. but if that certain passion is a profession then it isnt the creation but the appreciation of that creation which is a matter of self satisfaction. as a result of which the creativity gets constrained and the very act that once made a person happy, drives him into depression. but then you still have a reason not to worry because most organizations have a yoga or meditation or dance classes in order to help you relieve your stress and perform better. in short, a company follows a simple policy- if u love to swim they throw u in the deepest ocean giving you an "opportunity" to cross it with a few logs "just in case".
However sarcastic i try to be i cannot change the ground reality. the entire system has that kind of flow to it. hence, i chose not to make my passion, my profession. for me, my profession is a challenge. if i win, it elevates my confidence. if i lose, it lowers my confidence. yet, i realize that at the end of the day if i lose i will never break. because there are these "things" i do that help me understand that there is more to me and i can allow a fresh start next day. i write, i draw, i play, i travel, i cook and i read tarots; all with utmost passion and i know that till the day i am alive i have all these "things" i can do which make me feel real, feel alive, feel worth because they are my passion and not......my profession.
Unfortunately, the scenario today is a little different. although, the society still believes in teaching the younger generation to be passionate about their profession and chose their hobby as their career, the practical scenario has a different story to unveil. i am a graduate. more precisely, i am an engineer. but engineering is not my passion. i have various hobbies and have been asked by many as to why i never considered choosing my hobby as my career. i never bothered justifying them because most Indians are too idealistic with their advices. i do not say that my theories are completely practical or its the ultimate reality but its my experience, my story.
As i grew older, the industry somewhere failed to assure me the success if i chose my hobby as my profession. another point of view could be that i was myslef never confident of succeeding in that field. not because i wasn't good but because i wasn't the best. someone may suggest that not everyone is born best but requires to work in order to become the best. this is where the industry did not seem supportive.
The way i mentioned about the secret of success known by every teenager then, there is another secret of success known by every graduate today. "In order to enter the industry, every candidate should be able to sell himself to the company. and even as a person works in an industry he requires to sustain a higher value for himself. every step, he should have something to offer to the industry. because today, the industry does not require an employee, the employee needs the industry." With globalization, the skills that were once acquired through hardwork and intelligence are now on sale. can an era in which knowledge and philosophy are marketed, value a person's passion? at the end of the day, its not always about right and wrong, its about profit and loss. more importantly, its not about personal satisfaction; its about the company's satisfaction.
I dont need to explain what a hobby is. however, we all agree that in a particular passion that we practice, we tend to experiment with our ideas. there is a certain freedom of thought; unconstrained. the end result is a new creation which provides you with self satisfaction. but if that certain passion is a profession then it isnt the creation but the appreciation of that creation which is a matter of self satisfaction. as a result of which the creativity gets constrained and the very act that once made a person happy, drives him into depression. but then you still have a reason not to worry because most organizations have a yoga or meditation or dance classes in order to help you relieve your stress and perform better. in short, a company follows a simple policy- if u love to swim they throw u in the deepest ocean giving you an "opportunity" to cross it with a few logs "just in case".
However sarcastic i try to be i cannot change the ground reality. the entire system has that kind of flow to it. hence, i chose not to make my passion, my profession. for me, my profession is a challenge. if i win, it elevates my confidence. if i lose, it lowers my confidence. yet, i realize that at the end of the day if i lose i will never break. because there are these "things" i do that help me understand that there is more to me and i can allow a fresh start next day. i write, i draw, i play, i travel, i cook and i read tarots; all with utmost passion and i know that till the day i am alive i have all these "things" i can do which make me feel real, feel alive, feel worth because they are my passion and not......my profession.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
philosophy- a way of life.
It is so amusing, to sometimes think of people speaking so metaphorically about life. most philosophers depict a certain aspect of life in their art form. musicians would create beautiful tunes, a poet would decorate the idea with rhymes, an artist would portray it with different colors, an actor would stage an act of obvious human emotions to recreate a certain idea, a sculptor would carve an inanimate object to make it appear lively. the philosophy of these artists are majorly acknowledged because they are able to present it in an entertaining manner. well, its human psychology.
But then what about those millions of silent philosophers, the ideas of whom are born and demised in their own minds. it obviously doesn't mean they are inferior. in the end we all seek the truth. we have had our share of happiness and sorrows. the knowledge we acquire from life is mostly different. the augmented structure of life is responsible for it. it is the same as choosing a profession. we cannot acquire in- depth knowledge of various professions and so we choose one. however, in case of life, this choice is pre-determined. what determines it? well, some call it fate, some call it destiny, some call it the outcome of one's action but i rather not comment on it. because in the end, it doesn't matter. certain consequences from the past need to be shared by every progeny.
In every life-story, there is a part of life different than our own. the successful have different success stories, the unsuccessful have different unfortunate tragedies, the happy have different means to search for content and the unhappy have different means to accommodate their sorrows. and yet we are a part of this race to claim superiority. every person feels the need to allow the world to understand that unique aspect of life that has been his pre-determined fate. however, life has its own way of maintaining an equilibrium. with so many minds desperate to speak there are almost equal no of minds shut.
in the end, one requires to accept the difference between reality and philosophy. philosophy in itself is a way of life. it involves exploring life and viewing it with an altogether different perception. we appreciate those simple philosophies nurtured by various art forms because unconsciously we realize that it is a perception that we cannot embed into our minds. we have to depend on the artist to allow us to see that unique part of life through his eyes. we take for granted even those complicated ideas that lurk around us because we feel that we can view life from that angle. eventually some of us decide to make that beautiful perception of an artist our way of life and unintentionally mix up our own perception to form a new way of life- a new philosophy.
But then what about those millions of silent philosophers, the ideas of whom are born and demised in their own minds. it obviously doesn't mean they are inferior. in the end we all seek the truth. we have had our share of happiness and sorrows. the knowledge we acquire from life is mostly different. the augmented structure of life is responsible for it. it is the same as choosing a profession. we cannot acquire in- depth knowledge of various professions and so we choose one. however, in case of life, this choice is pre-determined. what determines it? well, some call it fate, some call it destiny, some call it the outcome of one's action but i rather not comment on it. because in the end, it doesn't matter. certain consequences from the past need to be shared by every progeny.
In every life-story, there is a part of life different than our own. the successful have different success stories, the unsuccessful have different unfortunate tragedies, the happy have different means to search for content and the unhappy have different means to accommodate their sorrows. and yet we are a part of this race to claim superiority. every person feels the need to allow the world to understand that unique aspect of life that has been his pre-determined fate. however, life has its own way of maintaining an equilibrium. with so many minds desperate to speak there are almost equal no of minds shut.
in the end, one requires to accept the difference between reality and philosophy. philosophy in itself is a way of life. it involves exploring life and viewing it with an altogether different perception. we appreciate those simple philosophies nurtured by various art forms because unconsciously we realize that it is a perception that we cannot embed into our minds. we have to depend on the artist to allow us to see that unique part of life through his eyes. we take for granted even those complicated ideas that lurk around us because we feel that we can view life from that angle. eventually some of us decide to make that beautiful perception of an artist our way of life and unintentionally mix up our own perception to form a new way of life- a new philosophy.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Normal.
Ever seen a mentally retarded person? they say that those people cannot behave normally. normally? if we remember our physics well then we should be able to recollect our theories that were built up on assumptions to begin with and those phenomena that contradicted a certain theory were termed as special cases. and i am not making it up when i say that many a times some phenomena that do not follow a normal theory are termed as 'special' cases. look at the irony, we term phenomena as 'special' when they behave abnormally or sub-normally but term the human beings who are not normal as mentally retarded, mentally ill or some term that gives you the idea that "something is wrong with this person".
Obviously, i cannot blame anyone for this but then it left me with a thought. a thought about their place in our world. in our normal world. you are supposed to be normal if you can speak in an existing accent, if your postures and gestures are similar to the other thousands that were born before you, if you can score an average grade and sustain a job, if you like money and luxuries; but what about those we call mentally ill? what do they seek? for a normal person, i often say that a path he chooses in life is to seek the meaning for his existence. but i don't know if this holds true with those born with mental disorders.
A few years back, an accident occurred at gateway of India. two girls were slashed with a knife by a mentally ill person. i learned that he was mentally ill since childhood. while discussing it with a friend, my friend argued that the person shouldn't be allowed in public. he should be kept in an asylum. but i knew how that ill person's parents must be feeling because i have a mentally ill person staying in my locality whose parents have raised him well as from what i have observed. he even threw a stone at me which was big enough to knock me down if it hit my head. but i luckily escaped. although i realized the threat, a stronger realization possessed my thoughts and that was his parents' love for him. however the child is- normal, abnormal or subnormal -their parents love doesn't change. i suppose that is the only thing that doesn't change as would be seen by normal human beings. while writing this i recollect the recent incident in which a baby that died in the mother's womb and remained in it for a long time had deformed body parts and was termed as an alien, adding to which, the mother wasn't allowed to see the child's dead body.
May be there are many terms that define normal, but, i am sure "cruel" is one of them. we tend to observe a person's character through his eyes while he is interacting. i have stared into the eyes of these mentally ill twice, but all i could sense was the innocence of a new born. the thought process was ongoing but the vibes that i received where more pleasant and innocent than destructive and manipulative. i hope there was a way to redefine the terms used to administer these mentally challenged as they are more subtly termed these days.
May be it is only i who feel so. but, when a normal person breaks a glass in a fit of rage, we term him as short tempered, when a normal person suddenly feels like playing while at work, we term him as moody, when a normal person eats his meal in a disgusting manner, we call him ill- mannered. But if a mentally retarded did any of the above disgraceful act there is only one thing that would come to our mind as normals- "he is mentally ill." i hope someday i can understand them and built a place for them at least in my world where i wont see them as ill or retarded or challenged or disabled but 'different'.
Obviously, i cannot blame anyone for this but then it left me with a thought. a thought about their place in our world. in our normal world. you are supposed to be normal if you can speak in an existing accent, if your postures and gestures are similar to the other thousands that were born before you, if you can score an average grade and sustain a job, if you like money and luxuries; but what about those we call mentally ill? what do they seek? for a normal person, i often say that a path he chooses in life is to seek the meaning for his existence. but i don't know if this holds true with those born with mental disorders.
A few years back, an accident occurred at gateway of India. two girls were slashed with a knife by a mentally ill person. i learned that he was mentally ill since childhood. while discussing it with a friend, my friend argued that the person shouldn't be allowed in public. he should be kept in an asylum. but i knew how that ill person's parents must be feeling because i have a mentally ill person staying in my locality whose parents have raised him well as from what i have observed. he even threw a stone at me which was big enough to knock me down if it hit my head. but i luckily escaped. although i realized the threat, a stronger realization possessed my thoughts and that was his parents' love for him. however the child is- normal, abnormal or subnormal -their parents love doesn't change. i suppose that is the only thing that doesn't change as would be seen by normal human beings. while writing this i recollect the recent incident in which a baby that died in the mother's womb and remained in it for a long time had deformed body parts and was termed as an alien, adding to which, the mother wasn't allowed to see the child's dead body.
May be there are many terms that define normal, but, i am sure "cruel" is one of them. we tend to observe a person's character through his eyes while he is interacting. i have stared into the eyes of these mentally ill twice, but all i could sense was the innocence of a new born. the thought process was ongoing but the vibes that i received where more pleasant and innocent than destructive and manipulative. i hope there was a way to redefine the terms used to administer these mentally challenged as they are more subtly termed these days.
May be it is only i who feel so. but, when a normal person breaks a glass in a fit of rage, we term him as short tempered, when a normal person suddenly feels like playing while at work, we term him as moody, when a normal person eats his meal in a disgusting manner, we call him ill- mannered. But if a mentally retarded did any of the above disgraceful act there is only one thing that would come to our mind as normals- "he is mentally ill." i hope someday i can understand them and built a place for them at least in my world where i wont see them as ill or retarded or challenged or disabled but 'different'.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
21
i always thought that i knew so much about life that if i had to start writing i'd probably have a couple of books published. yet, i havent heard of many writers, who at the age of 21, have written great books on life. when i was 10, i always fascinated the idea of being 21. at that age you dream of winning over the world by the time you complete your teens.
life at 10 isnt all that happening for an average kid like me. in addition, its human nature to find another guy wearing the same shirt as yours to be more handsome than you could see yourself in the mirror. in short, we are always interested in others' life than our own. so as i mentioned earlier, being an average kid, i was more interested in people around me. the one thing that intrigued me the most was the freedom privileged by the grown ups. i wanted to wear stylish clothes, go out for movies almost every weekend, have a girlfriend, stay out late night, hang out with friends for long time and have my own money to spend the way i want. but, i was 10 then.
now, m 21. style changes 4 me everyday, i go out for movies once in while, i dont have a girlfriend, i cannot stay out late night, i cannot hang out with friends for too long, i still dont have money of my own to spend the way i want and the worst of all is that even if i get a decent job after a few months i wont be able to spend it my way. why? its simple, m 21. i have deadlines, i have duties, i have responsibilities, i have a career and i have an image in society. you dont have any of these when you are 10. just some stupid exam to be passed by hook or by crook twice a year and till you do that you get what you want and you dont have to answer anyone else. but, m 21.
yes, m 21.however messed up my life is, i am more worried about whom aishwairya rai is getting married to or whom she broke up with. i speak with so much fake confidence that people around me imagine me to be the next bill gates. i read the sexpert column in the newspaper dutifully and read it with so much enthusiasm as if am planning on losing my virginity the same night and will be discovering myself being affected by all the possible STD's the next morning. i have a regenerating heart that actually works more efficiently and quickly than a lizard who is believed to be the only mammal on earth with the power 2 regenerate a body part. i guess, they never studied the heart of a 21 year old very well. it is said to be broken, destroyed, cut, withered and all possible adjectives for destruction when his love goes away. but within no time a new heart re-generates to make space for a fresh love. i read the horoscope hoping that my financial and romantic life will improve. at 10, it was studies and mom. at 21, its money and love.
life at 10 isnt all that happening for an average kid like me. in addition, its human nature to find another guy wearing the same shirt as yours to be more handsome than you could see yourself in the mirror. in short, we are always interested in others' life than our own. so as i mentioned earlier, being an average kid, i was more interested in people around me. the one thing that intrigued me the most was the freedom privileged by the grown ups. i wanted to wear stylish clothes, go out for movies almost every weekend, have a girlfriend, stay out late night, hang out with friends for long time and have my own money to spend the way i want. but, i was 10 then.
now, m 21. style changes 4 me everyday, i go out for movies once in while, i dont have a girlfriend, i cannot stay out late night, i cannot hang out with friends for too long, i still dont have money of my own to spend the way i want and the worst of all is that even if i get a decent job after a few months i wont be able to spend it my way. why? its simple, m 21. i have deadlines, i have duties, i have responsibilities, i have a career and i have an image in society. you dont have any of these when you are 10. just some stupid exam to be passed by hook or by crook twice a year and till you do that you get what you want and you dont have to answer anyone else. but, m 21.
yes, m 21.however messed up my life is, i am more worried about whom aishwairya rai is getting married to or whom she broke up with. i speak with so much fake confidence that people around me imagine me to be the next bill gates. i read the sexpert column in the newspaper dutifully and read it with so much enthusiasm as if am planning on losing my virginity the same night and will be discovering myself being affected by all the possible STD's the next morning. i have a regenerating heart that actually works more efficiently and quickly than a lizard who is believed to be the only mammal on earth with the power 2 regenerate a body part. i guess, they never studied the heart of a 21 year old very well. it is said to be broken, destroyed, cut, withered and all possible adjectives for destruction when his love goes away. but within no time a new heart re-generates to make space for a fresh love. i read the horoscope hoping that my financial and romantic life will improve. at 10, it was studies and mom. at 21, its money and love.
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