Dont just discover. Re-discover.

There is little about ourselves that we discover. That little part of ourselves is what we truly understand. The rest, is the invention of many minds around us. Most of us prefer invention over discovery. Makes life easy, doesnt it? I mean if tomorrow somebody came up to you and asked you to discover a mobile phone what would you reply? the obvious response would be, "Its already invented." We somehow carry the same attitude about ourselves. We have gradually found our comfort level with these inventions about us that have been apparently discovered by others. Very much like the dependancy on mobile phones, our lives have developed a certain dependancy on these inventions- in simple term 'opinions'. 

The basic necessity for a person to realize he is kind is for people around him to tell him that. Also, if the world calls you crazy, you pretty much scrutinize every bit of your personality. I cannot blame anyone. Afterall who wants to be an outcast. We are social animals. We have set some standards of style and behaviour without which we are nothing more than a joke for the major cluster following it. We crave for social acceptance, we fear lonliness and accepting people's opnion of who we are doesn't seem to be a very high cost to pay. But, each one of us faces that one instant in life when we feel rejected. That intricate moment when we wish to truly understand ourselves. To realize that everything we did till today was not everything we always wanted to do. It is during that moment that we begin to re-discover ourselves. to give ourselves a chance to discover an opnion for ourselves and impose it on others. 

Where everyone strives to be unique, accepting that you are like another takes courage. When you deny an opnion about yourself, you deny that very part of who you are. You know the problem with modifying an invention? You are always aware about the facts but you will never understand the gravity. Hypocrite, fake, imposter; whichever way i try to interpret it, i am very much a part of it. There are people like whom i wish to be. But, while i powder my face with that presentable look i also wish to stare at that person in the mirror and make sure that i have done enough  to understand that single person in the mirror even if i am unable to grasp the jargons of the universe. It is one thing i would always do 'come what may'. I know i have to keep coming back to that person in the mirror, give him a chance and keep re-discovering myself. 

My Valentine.

Not braced by the sanctities of human logic,
Enveloped by an aura of true magic,
When a feeling that renders sublime devotion,
You know it has surpassed mere infatuation.

What meets the eye is always incomplete,
For they rarely see how the heart beats,
Two souls resonating to a common desire,
A communication that surpasses mere gesture.

Reality then is nothing short of a dream,
On her shoulders i let my life lean,
A relationship that in every sense is true,
A bond that surpasses the need to say “I love You.”

A lost soul.

A weary present looking back relentlessly,
a path that it traveled handicapped,
and now they call it a messed up past,
but the title cannot disguise the agony.

Feelings are not slaves of time,
Although people at times are conquered,
as countless emotions are killed by a feeble human mind,
expressions altered fail to decipher.

Sensation of that gentle touch,
dies the next moment,
a desire consequently born,
a scar waiting to be erased.

With every wish that signifies,
a feeling of meaningless sighs,
lost forever never to return,
a dream that never dies.

प्यार कि कहानी!

समय से लिपटे कुछ लम्हे ,
यादो से भीगे कुछ हम है,
किस बरस ये बंजर ज़िन्दगी खिल उठे ,
जिसकी आस लगाये बैठे , वो प्यार का मौसम है !

जब लगती है दुनिया एक ख़ूबसूरत सपना ,
जब वो एक हो जिसे हम केह पाये अपना,
वो ऋत खिले तोह कभी बीते न वो लम्हा,
फिर याद न करना पड़े वो दिल का तरसना!

आरज़ू कि एक नाज़ुक डोर ,
जो खिचती रहे हमे उसकी ओर,
उस लम्हे में ज़िन्दगी एक मधुर संगीत लगे,
सुनाई पड़े उस जगह भी, जहा मचे भीड़ का शोर!

कैसे थामे ये बेचैनी ,
कब है वो ऋत आनी,
उसे ढूंढ़ता कब से फिर रहा,
न खो जाऊ मैं बन के एक अधूरी कहानी!

Time.

They call me good and bad, They curse me I don’t know why, They call me happy and sad, As I just keep passing by. They want me to rush at times, At times they want me to freeze, They capture me in their memories, Yet, I flow like a gentle breeze. I am treasured as a lesson, And taught to every progeny, I am provided as a ray of hope, I am a mirror of destiny. They always expect me to be prosperous, They only want me to be sublime, Mistaken that they carry me on their wrists, You’ll never control me my friend!!.... I am time..

This day will be mine.

Gazing through the morning sky,
i see another day begin,
a yesterday left behind,
hoping that this day will be mine.

With a will to conquer the world,
and dreams that peek through horizon,
but actions so ordinary to accompany,
hoping that this day will be mine.

A feel that i am different,
a feel that i am born to shine,
willing to make the best of each moment,
hoping that this day will be mine.

as i travel through long tunnel,
i doubt my vision of the light,
believing every ray that i come along,
hoping that this day will be mine.

a destiny unrevealed to me,
a path undifferentiated to see,
yet, always picturing the end in my mind,
and hoping that this day will be mine.

Comeback.

Writing is no more the same. Earlier, it was a simple process. As I sat down running my hands gently over the keys and even before I pressed a single key an avalanche of thoughts would rush down from my mind into my hands. As I paved my way through those clusters of thoughts from varying interests picking up ideas that were analogous; I could carve them into something presentable. People appreciated it and that gave way to newer ideas to evolve within and a larger enthusiasm to carve them into a beautiful article. However, I have reached a ‘coma’ in my journey of creativity. It’s a sudden pause that is difficult to explain. I still have my hands with all eight fingers intact and thumb firmly placed on the spacebar. I also purchased a new keyboard, the glossy keys with neat printed alphabets which urge me to concatenate them into an appreciable manner. But it is something within that has lost its glaze.

My mind has lost somewhere among those clusters of ideas that has crowded its workspace. Suddenly, my mind has turned claustrophobic. It is not that I have never been in this situation but there is something about the moment I cannot explain my mind. It is constantly asking me for explanation but I condone its plea as I have larger issues at hand in the real world. Now, I have finally spared some time to find answers for my skeptical and obscure mind. I calmly ponder upon at the crowd of thoughts, ideas and memories that have clustered and constrained my mind. Inadvertently, I find nothing new. The entire scenario was something my creativity thrived on. It was out of this pandemonium that my mind would often help me engineer marvels that were appreciated by many. So what was the conundrum posed by time? I tried to think deeper. I assessed the situation from its root. How my earlier creations came into being? I said to myself, “ I developed ideas by learning each moment, every psychology, every situation, every phenomenon. Later, I thought over it again and again. Assessed, evaluated and also implied at times to verify them on a practical platform.
Is the situation different? I questioned myself. As I began analyzing my current state, the picture started bettering till I could finally understand my dilemma. Entering into the new phase of life has changed the equations for me. I am no more the teenager who had the freedom to pose a mere spectator to worldly issues. I am no more the novice who’s opinion was not worth. I am no more the juvenile who thinks he can control the world since he is able to make decisions at his own leisure. I am no more the youngster who could put aside his share of responsibilities and enjoy a weekend with friends or may be even plan a vacation by manipulating his schedule. I am no more the favourite student of a particular teacher who would provide him special guidance in tough situations. I am no more the kid that the elder’s often ignored and would be least interested whether or not he learned about important issues around. Today, I am a graduate- I am a professional. I do not think how I can change the world but I am worried of finding a right spot to fit myself in the larger picture. I am only favourite of those who can benefit from my work and I am a part of a constant race to prove myself to my colleagues and every other person around me who is directly or indirectly associated with my work. . More importantly, I require to prove myself and try not to lose myself in the rat race because no matter by what amount the number of variables in the equation increase, they would always equal to success in my formula for life. As I struggle to make a comeback, at least I realize now, its not the inspiration but the state of mind I am searching for.