Silent Confession.

I try to write down my feelings,
But it just doesnt work,
For the hypocrite i have been for the past years,
And everything i wrote was fake,
Some hidden truth though,
A lot was half baked,
Even if i reason those sins,
Pity and condolence is what i'll get,
A few would change their opinion about me,
But not one word of understanding i'd win,
I am so used to the dark that i fear light,
Am too coward to step up and fight,
Where are those who called themselves my friend,
Why do i feel so lonely,
Why do i feel the path behind me silent,
Did they leave me or i left them to ascend,
My hands quiver as i try to regret,
I cannot write my agony,
May be there is too much to state,
And my heart is not in harmony,
Confessions of a guilty mind,
Conscience that was killed with little effort,
Cant see ahead, the past accusing from behind,
But its too late now , i suppose,
The jury, the accuser and the guilty,
Its always me playing a character,
And finally the nemesis unavoidable,
Has only left me to deter.