Change.

I always thought that it was my quest for satisfaction that made my life a constant struggle. however, when i look at the past i realize that my quest was victorious in parts. it is when i ponder, i realize that i started my struggle with an ideal intention. the struggle at one point of time became so intense that the pace of it consumed me distracting me from my real intentions. now, i was fighting with life because i had to fight not because i wanted to. it became a habit. finally, life took a pause. it gave me a chance to assess what i had turned my life into and how i wish to mould it in future.

It is now that i take my time to realize that my struggle was never to achieve satisfaction. satisfaction derives its importance from the existence of unhappiness and pain. satisfaction is the absence of that struggle wherein all you want to achieve is satisfaction. i got blinded by my struggle and accepted my life to be a constant struggle. today, life provided me a pause to realize what i have been fighting for so long isn't satisfaction. it is change.

I want satisfaction to last forever. i do not wish to see it change into anything else that i haven't known it to be. when i stepped into this world, i was placed satisfactorily in my mother's womb. i was warm with care, i was protected, i was never hungry or thirsty; i was satisfied and that's the way i was born. but slowly life changed. i had to express my need for care, i had to protect myself and look after my own bread. even worse was the fact that something as simple as a touch, a word, a gesture, a silence, presence or absence of someone and similar ideas that could easily lose its meaning in the larger world started creating a chaos in my life. i became so vulnerable that every second of life possessed a phenomenon that could change how things were in the earlier second.

Like many others i grew tired. fortunately, my life gave me a chance to understand what i was struggling for. once again i wanted to be cared without expressing the need to be cared, i wanted to be protected and fed; i wanted life to not change from the way i knew it for the first time. but what is done cannot be undone. all i can do is try to continue my quest for satisfaction without losing track of my true goal so that when i achieve that momentary satisfaction i am able to endure it.

Surpassing Me.

One of the most relaxing moments for me are the ones when i keep all my work aside and recollect all the memories since childhood that i treasure. i don't just reminisce. i also bring back memories of tragic moments. in the course of time, it has become a routine. the aspect of this routine that keeps the interest in my memories alive is that every time i get back to an old memory it has something more to offer. every time i analyze it, i realize that there has been a further event that has provided a greater perception of a previous event. it helps me grow as i prepare myself for impending challenges.

You always cherish the idea of a better future. especially, as a child, you dream to conquer the world and are willing to make every possible sacrifice. however, as you grow old you tend to grow fond of these sacrifices. something we fail to realize is that, at times, we chase the same dreams we once portrayed in our mind as children. the difference lays in the vision. the idea becomes less hypothetical as we advance. also our vision narrows. our definition of achievement becomes more and more complicated.

As a child it is a general scenario wherein parents compare their children to other children of the same age group performing better. parents always strive to set role models for their children- be it a legend or just the neighbourhood lad who brings home better test scores or behaves more obediently. a child never understands the true motive of his parents. the child himself faces an obscure conundrum. something we fail to realize is the individuality. unfortunately, we need a reference. it is not just the parents portraying their child to be a successful individual but the child himself trying to step into the shoes of a different person.

As a child i had my role models, my ideologies, my definitions. with time, they changed. either they changed because i did or vice versa. in either case, there was one factor that remained unchanged- achievement. irrespective of the role model, ideologies or definitions, i always wanted to achieve. the quest for achievement demanded me to change for better or worse. however, the reference for better or worse wasn't my idol or ideology- it was me. it was then i began the quest for surpassing me.

Profession.

I was in school when i first learnt the secret of succeeding in a career. a secret that has been learnt by almost every teenager during his or her school days. the simplest philosophy that most of us voluntarily or involuntarily attempt to apply to our lives. the secret- make your passion, your profession. the key is to enjoy your profession in order to be more efficient and to succeed. obviously, getting into a profession and succeeding in that profession are two different aspects of a career.

Unfortunately, the scenario today is a little different. although, the society still believes in teaching the younger generation to be passionate about their profession and chose their hobby as their career, the practical scenario has a different story to unveil. i am a graduate. more precisely, i am an engineer. but engineering is not my passion. i have various hobbies and have been asked by many as to why i never considered choosing my hobby as my career. i never bothered justifying them because most Indians are too idealistic with their advices. i do not say that my theories are completely practical or its the ultimate reality but its my experience, my story.

As i grew older, the industry somewhere failed to assure me the success if i chose my hobby as my profession. another point of view could be that i was myslef never confident of succeeding in that field. not because i wasn't good but because i wasn't the best. someone may suggest that not everyone is born best but requires to work in order to become the best. this is where the industry did not seem supportive.

The way i mentioned about the secret of success known by every teenager then, there is another secret of success known by every graduate today. "In order to enter the industry, every candidate should be able to sell himself to the company. and even as a person works in an industry he requires to sustain a higher value for himself. every step, he should have something to offer to the industry. because today, the industry does not require an employee, the employee needs the industry." With globalization, the skills that were once acquired through hardwork and intelligence are now on sale. can an era in which knowledge and philosophy are marketed, value a person's passion? at the end of the day, its not always about right and wrong, its about profit and loss. more importantly, its not about personal satisfaction; its about the company's satisfaction.

I dont need to explain what a hobby is. however, we all agree that in a particular passion that we practice, we tend to experiment with our ideas. there is a certain freedom of thought; unconstrained. the end result is a new creation which provides you with self satisfaction. but if that certain passion is a profession then it isnt the creation but the appreciation of that creation which is a matter of self satisfaction. as a result of which the creativity gets constrained and the very act that once made a person happy, drives him into depression. but then you still have a reason not to worry because most organizations have a yoga or meditation or dance classes in order to help you relieve your stress and perform better. in short, a company follows a simple policy- if u love to swim they throw u in the deepest ocean giving you an "opportunity" to cross it with a few logs "just in case".

However sarcastic i try to be i cannot change the ground reality. the entire system has that kind of flow to it. hence, i chose not to make my passion, my profession. for me, my profession is a challenge. if i win, it elevates my confidence. if i lose, it lowers my confidence. yet, i realize that at the end of the day if i lose i will never break. because there are these "things" i do that help me understand that there is more to me and i can allow a fresh start next day. i write, i draw, i play, i travel, i cook and i read tarots; all with utmost passion and i know that till the day i am alive i have all these "things" i can do which make me feel real, feel alive, feel worth because they are my passion and not......my profession.

philosophy- a way of life.

It is so amusing, to sometimes think of people speaking so metaphorically about life. most philosophers depict a certain aspect of life in their art form. musicians would create beautiful tunes, a poet would decorate the idea with rhymes, an artist would portray it with different colors, an actor would stage an act of obvious human emotions to recreate a certain idea, a sculptor would carve an inanimate object to make it appear lively. the philosophy of these artists are majorly acknowledged because they are able to present it in an entertaining manner. well, its human psychology.

But then what about those millions of silent philosophers, the ideas of whom are born and demised in their own minds. it obviously doesn't mean they are inferior. in the end we all seek the truth. we have had our share of happiness and sorrows. the knowledge we acquire from life is mostly different. the augmented structure of life is responsible for it. it is the same as choosing a profession. we cannot acquire in- depth knowledge of various professions and so we choose one. however, in case of life, this choice is pre-determined. what determines it? well, some call it fate, some call it destiny, some call it the outcome of one's action but i rather not comment on it. because in the end, it doesn't matter. certain consequences from the past need to be shared by every progeny.

In every life-story, there is a part of life different than our own. the successful have different success stories, the unsuccessful have different unfortunate tragedies, the happy have different means to search for content and the unhappy have different means to accommodate their sorrows. and yet we are a part of this race to claim superiority. every person feels the need to allow the world to understand that unique aspect of life that has been his pre-determined fate. however, life has its own way of maintaining an equilibrium. with so many minds desperate to speak there are almost equal no of minds shut.

in the end, one requires to accept the difference between reality and philosophy. philosophy in itself is a way of life. it involves exploring life and viewing it with an altogether different perception. we appreciate those simple philosophies nurtured by various art forms because unconsciously we realize that it is a perception that we cannot embed into our minds. we have to depend on the artist to allow us to see that unique part of life through his eyes. we take for granted even those complicated ideas that lurk around us because we feel that we can view life from that angle. eventually some of us decide to make that beautiful perception of an artist our way of life and unintentionally mix up our own perception to form a new way of life- a new philosophy.

Normal.

Ever seen a mentally retarded person? they say that those people cannot behave normally. normally? if we remember our physics well then we should be able to recollect our theories that were built up on assumptions to begin with and those phenomena that contradicted a certain theory were termed as special cases. and i am not making it up when i say that many a times some phenomena that do not follow a normal theory are termed as 'special' cases. look at the irony, we term phenomena as 'special' when they behave abnormally or sub-normally but term the human beings who are not normal as mentally retarded, mentally ill or some term that gives you the idea that "something is wrong with this person".

Obviously, i cannot blame anyone for this but then it left me with a thought. a thought about their place in our world. in our normal world. you are supposed to be normal if you can speak in an existing accent, if your postures and gestures are similar to the other thousands that were born before you, if you can score an average grade and sustain a job, if you like money and luxuries; but what about those we call mentally ill? what do they seek? for a normal person, i often say that a path he chooses in life is to seek the meaning for his existence. but i don't know if this holds true with those born with mental disorders.

A few years back, an accident occurred at gateway of India. two girls were slashed with a knife by a mentally ill person. i learned that he was mentally ill since childhood. while discussing it with a friend, my friend argued that the person shouldn't be allowed in public. he should be kept in an asylum. but i knew how that ill person's parents must be feeling because i have a mentally ill person staying in my locality whose parents have raised him well as from what i have observed. he even threw a stone at me which was big enough to knock me down if it hit my head. but i luckily escaped. although i realized the threat, a stronger realization possessed my thoughts and that was his parents' love for him. however the child is- normal, abnormal or subnormal -their parents love doesn't change. i suppose that is the only thing that doesn't change as would be seen by normal human beings. while writing this i recollect the recent incident in which a baby that died in the mother's womb and remained in it for a long time had deformed body parts and was termed as an alien, adding to which, the mother wasn't allowed to see the child's dead body.

May be there are many terms that define normal, but, i am sure "cruel" is one of them. we tend to observe a person's character through his eyes while he is interacting. i have stared into the eyes of these mentally ill twice, but all i could sense was the innocence of a new born. the thought process was ongoing but the vibes that i received where more pleasant and innocent than destructive and manipulative. i hope there was a way to redefine the terms used to administer these mentally challenged as they are more subtly termed these days.

May be it is only i who feel so. but, when a normal person breaks a glass in a fit of rage, we term him as short tempered, when a normal person suddenly feels like playing while at work, we term him as moody, when a normal person eats his meal in a disgusting manner, we call him ill- mannered. But if a mentally retarded did any of the above disgraceful act there is only one thing that would come to our mind as normals- "he is mentally ill." i hope someday i can understand them and built a place for them at least in my world where i wont see them as ill or retarded or challenged or disabled but 'different'.

21

i always thought that i knew so much about life that if i had to start writing i'd probably have a couple of books published. yet, i havent heard of many writers, who at the age of 21, have written great books on life. when i was 10, i always fascinated the idea of being 21. at that age you dream of winning over the world by the time you complete your teens.

life at 10 isnt all that happening for an average kid like me. in addition, its human nature to find another guy wearing the same shirt as yours to be more handsome than you could see yourself in the mirror. in short, we are always interested in others' life than our own. so as i mentioned earlier, being an average kid, i was more interested in people around me. the one thing that intrigued me the most was the freedom privileged by the grown ups. i wanted to wear stylish clothes, go out for movies almost every weekend, have a girlfriend, stay out late night, hang out with friends for long time and have my own money to spend the way i want. but, i was 10 then.

now, m 21. style changes 4 me everyday, i go out for movies once in while, i dont have a girlfriend, i cannot stay out late night, i cannot hang out with friends for too long, i still dont have money of my own to spend the way i want and the worst of all is that even if i get a decent job after a few months i wont be able to spend it my way. why? its simple, m 21. i have deadlines, i have duties, i have responsibilities, i have a career and i have an image in society. you dont have any of these when you are 10. just some stupid exam to be passed by hook or by crook twice a year and till you do that you get what you want and you dont have to answer anyone else. but, m 21.

yes, m 21.however messed up my life is, i am more worried about whom aishwairya rai is getting married to or whom she broke up with. i speak with so much fake confidence that people around me imagine me to be the next bill gates. i read the sexpert column in the newspaper dutifully and read it with so much enthusiasm as if am planning on losing my virginity the same night and will be discovering myself being affected by all the possible STD's the next morning. i have a regenerating heart that actually works more efficiently and quickly than a lizard who is believed to be the only mammal on earth with the power 2 regenerate a body part. i guess, they never studied the heart of a 21 year old very well. it is said to be broken, destroyed, cut, withered and all possible adjectives for destruction when his love goes away. but within no time a new heart re-generates to make space for a fresh love. i read the horoscope hoping that my financial and romantic life will improve. at 10, it was studies and mom. at 21, its money and love.

unchangeable.

a destiny that awaits you at the horizon. the past is the reflection of the future. a sentence difficult to digest. but the one who understands the unchangeable destiny would understand exactly what i mean. but then its not all that complicated.

every person is born with a pre- decided fate. if you ponder upon the normal flow of life, you would say, as you sow, so shall you reap. in simple words, your act today leads to a possible outcome in future. Now, to interpret my idea you will need to visualize the opposite. it is because you are destined for a particular outcome in future, you perform an act in the present. unfortunately, there is no way to find out that pre- decided fate.

a very good friend of mine once told me,"life is unpredictable and the fact that it is makes it worth living." so all we can do is try not 2 judge ourselves on petty outcomes in the present because we have a larger future designed for us. all that we can do is work with all our heart in what we truly believe and may be that would become the most convenient way to reach that unchangeable destiny.

One extra mile.

i gotta walk that extra mile,
my destiny awaits on the other side,
its gonna be tough for a while,
i gotta walk that extra mile.

dragging many expectations along,
i try to ignore the elevation,
my will power isn't so fragile,
i gotta walk that extra mile.

the odds are stacked against me,
nobody said it would be easy,
although difficulties are ought to pile,
i gotta walk that extra mile.

a point of no return,
i cannot go back,
but the journey has made me docile,
i gotta walk that extra mile.

vision of victory, so clear,
there is no cost too high,
every step trying to be more agile,
i gotta walk that extra mile.

i will not give up, i know,
even if it took a life more,
my attempts wont remain futile,
i gotta walk that extra mile.

Fear...

What is this feeling? why does my mind feel so restless. my mind is crowded by her thoughts. all i want now is to hear her voice, to talk to her, to see her, to be with her, a moment that involves only her and myself. but there is something more to it. these wishes are not bothering me, its something else. something that has enveloped my mind the moment i developed feelings for her. my friend says it is love, but, i don't believe it. i did not chose to love her. she was never more than a friend to me. i understand my priorities and love isn't one of them. rather i never portrayed love in my mind till date, hence, i know for sure this isn't love. may be this is attraction, may be addiction, may be infatuation. In either case it isn't love.

I have never portrayed love because i never felt so strongly about anyone before and couldn't reach to the conclusion that i could be in love with that person. i don't love her. she is just a good friend. we speak regularly, we know everything about each other, we share our happiness and sorrows, we hold an important place in each others' life. that very much proves that we are good friends. isn't that how friends are supposed to be? yet, my mind is clogged. all of a sudden it has started behaving insane. irregularity in our contact makes me uncomfortable, small arguments get me worried for no reason, moments during her absence are filled with the presence of her memories and happy thoughts, every time i imagine that pleasant smile on her face, i smile involuntarily, even the times i am struggling my way to board a crowded train or bus and when all i have on my mind is to brutally push that person infront to pave my way through, her thought, for no reason, strikes.

my heart is insane. it is habituated to her. my brain knows it. yes, it knows that my heart is insane. it knows. it knows because it realizes that she doesn't feel the same way i do for her. it knows because she never reciprocates the affection that is visible in my eyes. it knows that 'that' one hasty decision could ruin our friendship. it knows because it realizes that i don't want to lose her. it knows because i am filled with that one feeling that dominates every thought of her. it knows that losing or hurting her is something i "fear".

'A Wanna-be'

"Be a good boy", mom often said. "Study well", dad always said in a supportive tone. "Don't be such a loser, be a sport" friends commented. "We expect good results from you", teachers demanded. i did everything. yes, i did. always tried my best to live up to others' expectations. i myself didn't realize when this obedience became a habit. but it never bothered me in the least sense because every time i behaved good my mother was happy; every time i studied sincerely my dad was happy; every time i behaved reckless or bold and socialized by every means my friends were happy; every time i scored well in my tests my teachers were happy. somehow, it made me happy. it was the smile on their face when they looked at me, after i had lived upto their expectations, that made me feel important. it made me feel i had some value in society and that i could fulfill everyone's needs n demands and expectations.

The times i let others down, i felt that i let myself down. But i didn't give up. i kept going. even when fingers were pointed at me i didn't justify myself but tried to prove my point through my actions. Each action was an outcome of someone else's belief. someone believed i could top my class so i believed it. someone believed i was kind so i believed it. someone believed i was a bad person so i believed it. someone believed i was sly so i believed it. someone believed i was a good friend so i believed it. someone believed i was a bad friend so i believed it. i believed....i believed everyone. yet, for once i couldn't believe in myself. however, its too late now. i have swum into deeper seas to return to the shores. i always had answers to people's question until the time when i asked my friend,"how do you want me to be?" he said,"be the way you want to be."

'the way i want to be'??? i asked myself several times but there was no answer. i am so used to living by others expectations that i never saw the need to generate any of my own. may be the term hypocrite would fit the description of me. the term is apt to describe me in a single word. i suppose the problem has arisen because i have grown in terms of knowledge, experience and the intelligence to scrutinize my own actions and that of others. obviously, i am not a welcomed individual in society now,unless, people don't know me. one obvious solution would have been to shift to a new place where people didn't know me and i had the chance to live the way i want. unfortunately, it wont work. because wherever i go there are people, wherever there are people there are expectations, wherever there are expectations i need to succumb.

May be the society needs to accept me as a hypocrite. may be i myself require to accept myself as a hypocrite. but i dont like when someone calls me a hypocrite. i feel agitated because hypocrite is the one who believes in one thing but does another. as for me, i dont know what i believe in. i behave as people wish me to. for those loving silence, am silent; for those loving fun, am funny; for those loving noise, am loud. but while i am one of these, i am with all my heart. because there is no second belief i hold simultaneously. still if you believe i am a hypocrite then may be i am living upto someone else's expectations at that time.

i wish someday i can find an expectation of my own. i wish someday i behave the way i want and not the way others want. i wish someday i live not because it is required but because i want to. i struggle to survive, i struggle to search for a purpose, i struggle to make a difference, i struggle to discover that 'one' expectation that has nurtured within me. i am not a hypocrite in societal terms.however, an informally coined term could describe me better if not the best. a famous category of teenagers that i could be considered to fall in. yes, i am that category; i am not a hypocrite, i am 'a wanna-be'.

Striptease!

People have a happy phase in life and also a sad phase. The last couple of weeks made me feel like am I having a striptease phase. In a college event that I participated, my character demanded I walk the ramp with my shirt off. More than my character demanding it my colleagues were of the opinion that it would add to the character. May be you might think that I have a great body or an excellent physique but the fact is exactly opposite. The theme being gothic I am supposed to wear some body art. Well, I haven’t stood in a vest out of my house in my entire life and now I am going to walk a ramp infront of more than 100 people(for no reason I am glad that Mr. R. R. Patil is not listed in those 100) with my shirt off and not enough body art to hide my prominent rib cage.

Already nervous about my performance next week, I did not expect to have a rehearsal this week. When I thought about walking half naked I told myself that I could just concentrate on the male part of the audience and not feel embarrassed but the rehearsal that I accidentally underwent was much more embarrassing. Just three males in the room and around 7 to 8 females. This rehearsal that I am talking about is the time when I was forced to volunteer as a subject to test the tele- ecg machine and to make matters worse a 12- lead ecg machine. My project guide asked me to take off my shirt and vest and lie down(I wish I could deny) well, I didn’t mind volunteering as a subject but I did mind the presence of so many females in the same room. While I was lying with just my pants on and hoping that the tag of my undergarment wasn’t visible I recollected one of my childhood memories.

I was 5 when I removed my shirt infront of a crowd unwillingly for the first time. It was some school function and they were playing some stupid game when the host asked the participants to get some particular coloured shirt from the crowd. Me, one of the few, blessed with immense misfortune was wearing the required color. A ‘female’ contestant eagerly approached me and her over- enthusiasm made me feel as if she’d tear away my shirt if I didn’t hand it over. Yet, I resisted. However, she pleaded to my mother and my mother while trying to convince me took off my shirt and handed it over. I started crying because even at 5 if I could not spell “embarrassment”, yet, I was. There were so many females around me. The only good thing was that the host noticed it and gave me a gift. The gift was a water bottle with a small tiffin on its top.

Whatever!!! I was 5 then, I am 21 now. I just hope the body art that am supposed to wear is attractive. i hope that my requirements to volunteer half naked is the last time next week. I know I am a guy and shouldn’t be so embarrassed but well, walking the ramp is the first step to overcome the embarrassment. Still, that doesn’t mean people expect me to roam around with my shirt off!!

Naive.

You always misjudged my expectations from you. you always framed me between your common opinion of men as chauvinists. i could not blame you. but, i did not wish to justify that unlike other men, i do not underestimate the female gender. you always told me that all that men look for in a girl, is sex and were somewhere confident that i approached you with the same intentions.

Intentions, i had, but altogether different. i wished to be a part of the disintegrated jigsaw puzzle that you saw your life as. i wanted to fit in somewhere. to make my presence in your life meaningful. yet, i always saw an element of doubt in your eyes. as if you just couldn't imagine me as a friend without hidden agenda. finally you broke your silence. finally you put forth the doubt that lurked in your mind hindering your heart to believe in me. finally, you asked me, " how can you do so much for me without asking and not expect anything in return."

That day, i couldn't do much but smile away and say, "that's how i am." the truth is that i have a lot to offer to this world but the world has very little to offer me. helping the ones i love, being there when they need me and allowing them to see me as a support and let them trust me is what makes me happy. sometimes, its the need of the hour; sometimes, its an emotional deluge. yet, i find that everyone around me believes in this give and take relationship. you were one person who had put my observation into words when you said, "give & take- that's how the world work. people bond with each other because they get something in return. no one will stand by you if they did some good deeds for you but in return you not only express ingratitude but hurt them."

However, my vision is different. i cannot explain it. but when i go beyond my limits for the people i love i know that i am not supposed to expect even an expression of gratitude because its a certain choice that i have made, i just know that it made me happy, because, at the end of it, my loved ones were happy. moreover, i feel that the way am able to help people they will never be able to help me.

Over a period of time i have changed myself to suite your conditions of give and take. my expectations from the world have grown exponentially. when i approach someone i cannot avoid calculating the profits and losses involved in that bonding. over a period of time my happiness has decreased abreast my expectations. i realize how the two have an inverse relation. this realization makes me feel like returning to the past. i know i cannot return into the past nor can i change the present but i can certainly create a future. a future that much like my past will be filled with love. i will give the world all that i have and try not expecting anything. i will strive for those who could not fight their fate and provide them with a way of my own. Once again, i will be what you often said i was- naive.

POLYGAMY.

"Polygamy"- means having more than one wife or husband at the same time. this is the definition that i have copied directly from my cellphone dictionary. i know most of you would think of polygamy as having more than one wife and also if you observe the definition stated it describes the "wife" aspect first. May be it was unintentional. but then i'll give you a Gen -X outlook at polygamy. so we'll need to handle both issues one by one.

More than one wife:-
1) Advantages:- You would enjoy some variety in your sex life(i couldn't have been more sober).
- You will never put on weight because the amount of calories you burn while having sex will eventually compensate.
- Population explosion will be taken care of(well, we could use a few homosexuals in this country for that matter;))
- There are more earning members so the family can afford to live a luxurious life. hey, atleast the children wont starve.
- The daily chores are taken care of.
- You will not have to worry about money management because women are far better than the grocer in that case.
- In case one of the wives die, runs away, demands divorce or is hospitalized the family will still run smoothly.
- The husband and children can relish the variety in cuisine.
- Children can benefit from the extra guidance and support from all their mothers.


2) Disadvantages:- Scheduling your nights will become necessary.(Sorry guys, you cant have multiple erections so rapidly)
-Husbands will need to remember so many names, birthdays and wedding anniversaries.
-It would be a major disaster if all your wives unite, however, it would be a disaster even if they fought among themselves.
- Toddlers would have a hard time remembering the names of all the 'mothers'.
-Children would have a tough time selecting a bride or groom for themselves as women niggle in these situations.
- Shopping is an insatiable passion for women. however, there is a propensity to spend their husbands income or expect their husbands to gift them.
- your mother will find it difficult to have a favourite daughter-in- law

More than one husband:
i kinda have a dilemma here. having more than one husband is not an issue but according to all communities, women are supposed to live with their husbands. Obviously, if we continue this trend, women will have a harder time then men as they'll need to travel a lot unless they find men living in same colony. but then again they would'n want one husband peeping through his window at their other husband's house while they act naughty;)

lets assume we are able to change the trend and now the husband goes to the wife's house.

Advantages:
- women can achieve multiple orgasms. so they'll have an excellent sex life. variety is the spice of life and fulfillment is achievable for her as she always has alternatives.
- men never argue over petty issues. so more than one man in the house will not be a trouble.
- if one husband falls ill, dies or elopes with another man or woman, the family still remains flourished.
- if you are a housewife, you will have multiple finances to your shopping.
-some of the best known chefs around the globe are men, so the probability remains of you hitting the jackpot.
- population explosion is better curbed as compared to having multiple wives.
Disadvantages:
- men usually engage in conversations over politics, current issues and business which can keep them engaged for hours as compared to women who can be kept occupied by gossip.
-it would be a disaster if a couple of your husbands turn gay. you will end up facing heavy losses. this wont be the case with multiple wives due to the fact that women cannot stay in harmony unless they are sisters. also, the spice of variety is better longed for by men than women.

this was the best i could come up with. i am sure i have missed out on petty issues but the issues mentioned here are unavoidable in ones married life. in case you are longing for multiple life partners, the above points can help your thought.