I stared at her for a long time. Although she realised it, she did not react making me unsure of my approach. Finally, she left and I, a strong believer in the philosophy of ‘love at first sight' stood silent cribbing to myself "I'm in love with her! I'm in love with her!"
However, I find the scenario quite different these days. Especially, in Mumbai city where western life manifests itself in every walk of life, people- to be more precise, teenagers- have become more broad minded and confident. Also walking hand in hand are qualities like recklessness and impatience. It has been my observation that western culture has implanted a sense of scrutiny over matters which were once blindly followed on basis of public opinion. Towards the end, it helps a teen to question but leaves him to his own fate to find a solution. Every facet in life always possesses some pros and cons and both fascinate individuals equally. But that's a social issue. As for love it has always been an issue, an unending one.
Although this topic asks for personal interference I'll try to generalise it.
Lately, a friend debated whether a teenager should express his feelings for the opposite sex he feels he is in love with. Although his complicated ideas did not yield any convincing result, it forced me to frame a second opinion. When I say this, the first question that comes to your mind is that what is my first opinion?
My first opinion was ‘experimenting with love'. One can never be sure about love at first sight. It is normally the seed of infatuation and attraction, nurtured by exchange of feelings, opinions and personal life which finally evolves into an evergreen tree of love. Love needs air to breathe, water to survive and an opportunity to succeed.
Witnessing the cupids display their archery skills on my friends, I always got dragged into these ‘matters'. However, they never yielded long lasting effects. But I learnt enough lessons to carry on an ideal affair irrespective of my feelings towards the girl.
There are very few people in this world who actually give these ideas a thought. Psychologically, most people get obsessed with the idea of being together with someone whom they feel they love. It would be difficult to find a teenager who would actually understand the difference or at least try to differentiate between love and infatuation. This does not imply that a person needs to be completely responsible and matured. It has been my observation that most teenagers who are aware about their responsibilities tend to fear falling in love. They take most ‘extra-ordinary feeling' as infatuation and in the least cases attempt to involve themselves into commitments. Its psychological, hence, reactions always differ among individuals.
I have witnessed several love stories. Some were successful and many unsuccessful. However, towards the end although I agree that psychology plays an important role in development of feelings it never changes the true meaning of love. All the while I have been thinking about teenage love and why most affairs collapse despite of strong commitments. It is now that I realise that the term love just takes different forms but its true meaning never changes.
Love does not change from mother to child, child to his brother or sisters and finally from husband to wife. It is not difficult to understand that terms like life, death, love, friendship, etc are very difficult to define. You may find millions of books filled with complicated philosophies on life and love. However, in the end they are all based on personal experiences. Our idea of love changes because most of the times our perception is based on our vision. Vision can only see physical movements and physical movements are outcome of one's psychology. Hence, each individual's opinions and reactions diversify the nature of love. One of the most beautiful love story that I have witnessed is that of my parents. On my scale, two persons with the nature similar to my parents have very low chances of getting along. It is said ‘opposites attract'. But how well do they get along? The only catalyst that makes it possible is love. Even after a long-term observation I could not describe their relationship. But one thing I always realised was that there was ‘something' that binds them despite of their differences and which kept their relationship intact through thick and thin.
To be honest after observing every love story I doubt my own knowledge about love. It might not be right to terminate this topic with some incomplete theories. However, any statement I make will only describe a few love stories but there will be thousand others who may be different. In the end, I have changed my opinion of experimenting with love. Generally, matters get complicated with inexperienced teenagers. By this statement I do not wish to claim that a person who has been through many affairs is more capable of finding true love. Loving someone is like accepting someone's responsibility. It is similar to being a mother or father. You do not bear a child just to retain your family name. It is because you are ready to accept the responsibility of a life you love more than your own. I assume this example says it all. The patience and sense of responsibility involved is self explanatory.
You cannot clap with one hand. The need for someone special is felt by each one of us. Sometimes I feel that we all are born incomplete and only our companion helps us achieve the satisfaction of being complete. In our times of sorrows when we loose all our strength to fight it is the love of that special person which provides enormous power. The strange phenomenon about love is that the person may not understand your problem, still he or she is able to soothe your wounds. I suppose, as the fruit of love is so pure and filling, not every farmer can harvest it in his backyard. It is well said, "Greater the difficulty, sweeter the victory."
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