A tribute.

A year has passed by since the dreadful event took place in mumbai. I dont know if i should express my sorrow for the victims of 26/ 11 or honour the bravery of those who sacrificed their lives for mumbai city. i am one of those who can least gauge the intensity of the whole tragedy. The memories of that night are still fresh in my mind when it began for me with a 'breaking news' on star news channel which flashed that, "firing was taking place between two groups at colaba". Initially, we didnt express much concern as we thought it to be local hooligans involved in some kind of gang-wars. i changed the channel. i went back to the news channel a couple of times but the same news was being flashed. Finally, we switched off the television and went to sleep. Until next morning none in my family had the slightest idea of what was going around.
Next morning my father learnt bout the terrorist attack when he saw the news on the television early in the morning at 5 am. My mother wakes up at 6 and leaves fro work at 7am. Apparently, she wasn't willing to stay home as she is a nurse and realised that she had to reach the hospital. My father instructed me and my brother to stay at home. He himself left for work as usual at 9 am. Also, my brother left for bandra at around 11am. The incident took place in southern mumbai and the western line was somehow incapable of realising the situation. Many people went to their offices. The next morning, while the NSG were at full throttle at the taj and nariman point, life on the western line seemed pretty normal.
Many news flashes have been hitting since across the television displaying different aspects or the tragedy. The hard work of the security forces yielded some fruit in form of 'kasab'. This again began a news flash for a couple of days. The most recent headlines have been involvement of David Headley and Rana in the terrorist attacks. Trials on kasab are still in process, discussions with pakistan are still in process and various other political activities are in process. But the question remains, what has changed in mumbai in one year?
As a common man, i cannot list many changes i have seen. The most amusing move by the government was that of declaring election day as a holiday. More surprising was the fact that it did not create a desired difference in the voting from the mumbai suburbs. I do not wish to complain but the fact remains that even after 26/11/2008, mumbai is as vulnerable as it was a year back. The lone survived terrorist, even after committing such a hieneous crime, can assure himself of his safety. However, i doubt a considerable amount of mumbaikars could witness some permanent measures for public safety. May be permanent is an ideal term, but at least i have the right to expect some implications in the security of the city. Many may hate me for this statement but people of mumbai are more at fault than the government. At the end of the day, all that we do is comment on the actions of the government, light candles at the gateway to express our sorrows, send patriotic sms's to our friends, create communities on orkut and facebook, highlight the sorrows of those suffered and many more unproductive activities. In all these activities that we are proudly participating, where have we made the difference? where have we assured ourselves and our society of their security? When i say this, some would comment that security is the responsibility of the police and army and we are not here to fight terrorist. Sorry, but i dont have much to say to people who think in this manner. As it is said , easier said than done, such people will always remain spectators in freedom struggle. In the end, i am equally useless, because i know i havent contributed anything for my country nor my city in this last 1 year. Please ask yourselves, what have you done in this past year that could make a difference.

सांग मला......

खूप काम होते आज तुला,
थकलीस इतकी की झोपूनच राहिलीस,
लवकर उठ मला भूक लागली,
आज गप्प आहेस इतकी, काय झाले तुला, सांग मला ?

हे सारे रडत आहेत कशाला,
काकू का मला इतके घट्ट धरतेय?
बाबा पण दीदीला जवळ घेउन बसले,
तूच का नाही मला जवळ घेत , सांग मला ?

आकाशातील तो गोलस दिवा विझला,
पण अजुन तू घरातील दिवा नाही लावलास ,
मी चार ओळ शुभंकरोतिचे पाठ केले ,
पण बाबा त्याला चूक का म्हणाले, सांग मला?


उठ न आई आता किती झोपणार,
माझ्या लहानश्या हाकेने उठणारी तू,
आज इतके लोक भोवती असता पण झोपलीस,
कोणी रागावले का तुला, सांग मला?

कसेतरी होते आता मला,
इतकी गर्दी आणि सगळे विनाकारण रड्तायत ,
मला पण रडू येते,
अश्रु पूस पदराने आई, आणि बरं वाटेल असं काही सांग मला.


मी काल खेळण्यासाठी हट्ट केला,
म्हणून रागावली नाहीस ना?
की आज पुन्हा भाजी उरली,
म्हणून राग आला माझा तुला, सांग मला ?

हो! माझा नक्कीच राग आलाय तुला,
म्हणून इतका वेळ गप्प होतीस ,
डोळे मिटून त्या सफ़ेद पांघरुणात झोपलीस ,
मला एकदाही पहावेसे वाटले नाही तुला, सांग मला ?

ह्याच क्षणी मी वचन देतो तुला,
हट्ट नाही करणार खेळण्यासाठी कधी ,
तू वाढलेली भाजी सुध्दा गपचुप खाणार,
काय करू की राग जाईल तुझा सांग मला ?

कुठे नेतायत हे सारे तुला,
बाबा म्हणतात तू कामासाठी परदेशी चाललीस ,
सगळे तुझ्या सोबत घराबाहेर पडतायत, मला सोडून,
जिथे तू चाललीस तिथे सोबत का नेत नाही मला, सांग मला?

शोध...

विचारना माझ्या वाट सापडत नाही ,
ज्ञानाला माझ्या उपयोग सापडत नाही,
शब्दाना माझ्या अर्थ सापडत नाही,
प्रयत्नाना माझ्या यश सापडत नाही,
प्रेमाला माझ्या प्रेम सापडत नाही,
कष्टाना माझ्या फळ सापडत नाही,
दुक्हाना माझ्या समाधान सापडत नाही,
सुखाना माझ्या आयु सापडत नाही,
विश्वासाला माझ्या आधार सापडत नाही,
जीवनाला माझ्या कारण सापडत नाही,
कवितेला माझ्या पूर्णविराम ही सापडत नाही.

diwali then......diwali now....

Its diwali time. i cant wait to burst crackers. each day of the diwali has to be enjoyed to the fullest. as usual i always go to my mom, make that innocent face and ask for 100rs to buy crackers. then i'll go to my dad, make that innocent face again and try to get another 100rs saying that its for me and my brother:) only i know how many crackers added to my brother's share. Also, my uncle bought crackers for me. The sparks, the crackers, the rockets, fountains, those green bombs which we usually placed in a soda can and burst. i still remember how the bomb used to tear apart the tin can. The rocket skyrocketing in a flash and burtsing with aesthetic luminosity. A rather gibberish feature of the festival that i liked was the smell of gunpowder in the surrounding. and somehow i am always so enthusiastic about the festival. i find no need for the sunrise as the nights are much more brighter. the entire city lights up to lanterns, diyas and fireworks.
fortunately or unfortunately, i dont know, but i am just reminiscing. this is not the diwali i am celebrating but this is the diwali i celebrated. yet, it feels like yesterday that i celebrated diwali zealously. the scenario is different now. the festival hasn't changed its description. but i have changed. today, this festival, for me, is about sweets, lanterns, diyas, decorations, lightings and rangoli. i do not wish to hear the 'tantrum' of crackers nor i have a vested interest in smelling the gunpowder in the environment. it is not that i have suddenly turned an environmentalist or that i am paranoid over global warming but i possess a different state of mind now. may be i found pleasure and peace in boisterous celebrations. however, i am more into colours and silent aesthetic luminosity and sweets. though one thing i'd admit that i don't have a sweet tooth for all the diwali sweets but by the end of the festival i do get nauseated by the site of them. Surprisingly, this diwali i drew a large rangoli for which i got paid and i was supposed to draw one at my office which i eventually skipped. there is one thing that i love the most during diwali- decorating my hall. i am very much enthusiastic about the decorations. flowers, lanterns, diyas, paintings, decorative and anything that will add to the ambiance of the hall. in the end, i appreciate the beauty of my own decorations, invite friends and relatives for lunch and dinner and have a laugh with family and friends. this is the simple way in which i celebrate my diwali. hope you are celebrating your diwali with equal enthusiasm. HAPPY DIWALI!!

Untitled Memories.

Memories often act as antecedents to our present opinions or actions. On a larger platform, they are often coined as good memories and bad memories. Scrutinizing your emotions would get tougher if you were asked to title an incident which occured during your childhood wherein, you were promoted to the higher class but your best friend, with whom you spend every moment in the class, failed, as good or bad. Especially, at an age when your intelligence progresses abreast your social augumentation, you can least avoid being skeptical about the past. Many among us would opt for a second chance for a particular incident in their past. The feeling persists that they could strive for a better outcome had they been given the chance to do so. However, commenting on this facet would be irrelevant as the topic of interest is memories.
Yet, i take some trouble to write about the derangement in the ideologies because i wish to describe a different class of memories. I term them as 'untitled' memories. I have a few memories which, even after years of maturity, will put me into dilemma if i was forced to term them good or bad. Those are moments in my life which i could just say,"It happened". Also, i do not wish to hint that those memories are insignificant. A recent example that i could recollect was when i drank for the first time. After i got drunk, I cried. Yet, i cannot term it as a good memory or bad memory because i feel it just happened. may be if it wasn't for that day it would have been for some other day that the same incidence might have occurred. also, if i had the chance to change anything about that incident i doubt i would be willing to. And as i categorize these memories as 'untitled' they do not lose their significance because those were the moments in my life which triggered a new facet in me. Ofcourse, i haven't turned a drunkard:)
You might wonder for a second as to why am i mentioning these memories. It is because they keep coming back to me again and again and i find myself in a dilemma whether i wish to forget them or cherish them. This blog would have been much interesting if i had to mention all my untitled memories. However, considering the hypocrite i am i do not think it would be a wise decision. It is not that i fear revealing my private life but it is for the fact that the one reading it would surely categorize it as a good or bad memory on my behalf judging me on the basis of the knowledge he or she possess. there are things in life i did because i believed they had to occur. And in a further span i'd be having more untitled memories for sure.

FULLSTOP.

An end to everything,
Or a new beginning,
A full stop not always,
Marks the ending.
It may be a start,
To a new sentence or chapter,
That adds more meaning,
Or a whole new meaning thereafter.
If it acts as a finish line,
It leaves you behind,
To ponder upon or learn,
What you read beforehand.
A small dot on the paper,
Is a significant sign,
So distinguishable from a twin,
That completes a letter ‘i’.
A terminator, a discriminator,
A tiny entity,
With a larger character,
Present in every story.
So next time you see,
A full stop as you read,
Remember you’ve collected,
A little information indeed.

Café Coffee Day

The coffee is cold,
I have been waiting long,
Still not confident what to say,
Just humming this song.

The song playing in the coffee shop,
Isn’t complementing my situation,
You just step in as if nothing’s wrong,
And it catches my attention.

Then suddenly you change the scenario,
As the smile vanishes with words of disparage,
And I am still interpreting,
Should I convey my love or rage?

I try to be diplomatic, to keep it cool,
You are eager to know what my answer is,
Pre-decided on the argument proposed,
But you say you do not wish to ‘reminisce’.

Finally, a consensus is met,
As we decide to separate,
The long conversation with some happy moments,
With an end, we might regret.

Tears fill your eyes,
As you are determined not to cry,
Paucity of words leave me silent,
To comfort you I cannot try.

At the exit I bid you a goodbye,
For you are leaving my life for eternity,
The coffee shop tagline catches my attention,
And I read to agree-“A lot can happen over a coffee”

Silent Confession.

I try to write down my feelings,
But it just doesnt work,
For the hypocrite i have been for the past years,
And everything i wrote was fake,
Some hidden truth though,
A lot was half baked,
Even if i reason those sins,
Pity and condolence is what i'll get,
A few would change their opinion about me,
But not one word of understanding i'd win,
I am so used to the dark that i fear light,
Am too coward to step up and fight,
Where are those who called themselves my friend,
Why do i feel so lonely,
Why do i feel the path behind me silent,
Did they leave me or i left them to ascend,
My hands quiver as i try to regret,
I cannot write my agony,
May be there is too much to state,
And my heart is not in harmony,
Confessions of a guilty mind,
Conscience that was killed with little effort,
Cant see ahead, the past accusing from behind,
But its too late now , i suppose,
The jury, the accuser and the guilty,
Its always me playing a character,
And finally the nemesis unavoidable,
Has only left me to deter.

LOVE STORY.....

Along the road the darkness

falls,

Behind my back my future

calls,

She knocked my door and gave a

smile,

As if telling me we could walk along for

miles,

I thought, I pondered,

I glared,

But to express myself I could not

dare,

Taking a while I gave a

smile,

But till then our world had rotated a

dial,

Accepting our fate till this

date,

We have been friends not zealous

mates,

We try our best to see the

present,

Sometimes our past amidst the

crescent,

Beneath the moonlight creeps as a fairy

tale,

And I find myself going beyond the

pale,

Thoughts return to present

time,

As always she is more

determined,

I try to learn but always

fail,

And everything ends as if a

sail,

Has battled through a silent

storm,

And hope my thoughts never

deform,

Our future is unpredictable I

agree,

If u love something then let it

free,

It returns, its

yours,

If doesn't.......

POKER!!

I have always related life to different phenomena I come across. In one of my poems, I related life to the five elements, the human body is formed of as encrypted in the Hindu mythology. Every time i do this i learn a completely new facet of life. Its been long since i wrote anything on life and somehow today a new facet once again dawned upon me.
Today, i see life as a game of poker. Initially i thought comparing life to a game of poker sounds so lame. Also, it would eventually sum up to the fact that i want call life a gamble. But its is when you consider the details of it, you realise that there are various factors in this gamble which makes the game- in this situation life- more interesting. The most basic aspect of a gamble rather poker is the amount you have with you. It basically decides the limitations of your risk-taking factor. Then comes good luck and finally, the most interesting aspect- probability.
First, i'll take a few moment to tell you how the game progresses and then i'll relate it to life. There is initially a blind bet which is compulsory for two players on the table and optional for the rest. After this, the dealer deals out two cards to each player which helps the others to decide whether they want to remain in the game or quit. If the player choses to play then he needs to put in the required amount. After all the players have put in the same amount, the dealer will place the next card face down. This card is not to be seen and is termed as 'burn card'. After one card is burnt the next three are placed on the table face up. These cards are considered common to each player and he or she has to place the bets over the consideration of having the best combination of five cards with two cards yet to be revealed. At this stage, those who think they have a chance to win go ahead by rising the stakes. OtherS, not so confident, fold. Now, all those who remain enter their bets and after each one has put in the same amount the dealer once again burns the next card and displays the card after that to all the player. Now there will be four cards on the table and two in the player's hand. Again, each player decides whether he has a chance to win by getting the best five- card combination. Now, the betting process repeats and also the dealer once again burns the next card and displays the card after that. This is the last card to be dealt. At this stage, you have five cards on the table and two in your hand. The player with the best five card combination would win. Obviously, there is a heirarchy to be known in order to know whether you have a winning combination, but, for time being i am more interested in mentioning the process rather than teaching you the entire game.
Let us have a look at life now. At the beginning, two players have to pay a blind. This implies to each player in turns. Life puts forth an ordeal to some people whereas there are others who are exempted. However, we least realize that the placement of ordeal would be in turns. If i have payed a price today, you may be the one facing the same situation tomorrow. In some way, we all are bound to pay the blinds. Then comes the luck factor. It is mere fate that we are born in a poor or rich family, our parents are respectable or cons. Yet, something to be realized is that as you have no option but to proceed in the game with respect to the two cards in your hands, in life, you are bound to accept your background. You cannot run away from you family as they are the ones who give you an identity. Try imagining your life without that last name you add along with your own; its impossible. Although, an option would be to fold or, as in this case, give up on life. But to remain in the game you have to pay a price. Every achievement has a price of its own. Some, confident enough to win are ready to risk everything they have. Others, hoping for a little support from fate, struggle. Now, comes a very tricky part of the game of life. In poker, you have a burn card. The burn card basically reduces the probability of you making the best five card combination. Something to be noticed here is that this stage would occur only if the player is choosing to go ahead with the two cards in hand. Even in life there is a card burnt. Life first gives you a choice whether you wish to live ahead with the options you have. Once you chose to go ahead, in a way, you chose a direction. At this stage, you are deprived of the the probabilities of many other directions. Its something like i chose to make a career in science stream then my probability of becoming a chartered accountant is exterminated. This example is not exact but supports the idea well. The later cards that are dealt by the dealer can be interpreted simply as the opportunities provided by life. In the game, it helps you make a better five card combination. In life, it helps you succeed. But at each stage, as a card is dealt, some price has to be paid.
Finally, one might argue that if this is a game, then there shall be only one winner. surprisingly, i have the best example at hand. A game of poker can have more than one winner. At times, it may so happen that not a couple or triplet, but, all the players win. To some extent, this is true. most of us face victory towards the end of the game of life. Although, the definition for victory differs from individual to individual, yet, life has its own concrete definition for the same. the game of poker, along with luck, requires some skills as well. It isnt very different with life. to play the game of life, we require some skills. Hence, it becomes important that we learn from every small win or loss. the first three cards that open may not prove of any help. but, sometimes it becomes important to hold on and not give up. I have seen a pot of 20k and 30k win by players with 2's and 3's in their hand. just because life gives us something less than others doesnt mean we have a lesser chance to succeed in life. Play poker and you'll realize what i mean when you'll see a player lose the game even after having two aces in hand.
Last but not the least, something about poker i like more than life is that if you are bored of playing the game, you can quit for sometime and then get back. Unfortunately, life never gives you any such privileges. So if i am bored of playing the game of life should i quit?

SUNSET……..

A moment of intense fear, shock and trauma held her tightly, leaving her expressionless. She wanted to scream and moan but her senses became involuntary. The very next moment she had her child’s head, soaked in blood, on her lap crying aloud for help. The neighbours rushed in alerted by her cry. They immediately rushed the child to a hospital wherein he was carried to the operation theatre.

Suddenly, the world took a pause as if the earth stopped rotating and time took a halt; she was once again surrounded by intense fear and agony. In the state of shock lay a mother- a mother who had that heavenly smile run across her face a few hours ago as she kissed her three year old who learnt to recite few verses of a poem. It was now that she sat at the corner of a bench outside an operation theatre wishing that the next moment her child came running calling out for her and she found that what she was experiencing was just a nightmare. Her neighbours tried to console her but all she could see were the stairs down the aisle stained with her three year old child’s blood. Her pain and agony were in retrospect with her blood stained clothes. It appeared as if it was she who was bleeding due to injury and her clothes were stained by her own blood. Indeed it was. For a mother, it was her own blood and so was the injury.

It was an hour of desperation for a mother. She was so helpless. Still in the state of shock, tears rolled down with pace. A neighbor tried to console her but no words were sufficient to ease the pain she felt within. Only if there was a way for her to learn about her child’s progress, it would atleast help her fight her fear. But, there lay a helpless mother, who would give up her own life if it was to save her son’s. She had lost her husband a year and a half ago. With no shoulder to lay her head on, she was, by no means, prepared to see the only hope for her survival fade away. The neighbor consoling her knew the fact that if the child doesn’t survive, the hospital will witness not one death but two.

Sorry, will continue the remaining later......hope u felt tht u want 2 read ahead...

A teen’s age

Walking along the road; a sunny day,

Tired and thirsty I lost my way,

Every direction I could see,

A different way, a different place to be,

Some appeared smooth and bright,

Others portrayed darkness and fright,

A novice I was, biased to the bright,

Did not wait to think the other side,

May not be as bright as this,

So I just stepped ahead in bliss,

In the way came a fold,

All that glitters is not gold,
I turned around to step behind,

But the way to me was totally blind,

As quoted “if you cannot beat it join it”,

So I refused to forfeit,

Walking along the road ever minute every second,

Killing my conscience as it beckoned,

Just ended the journey with tears by my side,

Nothing at the end I could not abide,

Only once if I had asked for a way,

Singing with joy I’d happily stay,

But that was my part of fate I feel,

Only one wish granted to me I will,

Just sit at that junction where I began,

So another wanderer in a further span,

Would see my pitiful state,

And think at least once, to choose the right gate.

जीवन का संघर्ष

ज़िन्दगी से लड़ रहे है हम,
कुछ तो मौत को भी मात दे गए,
लाखो की भीड़ में खोज रहे अपने को,
कुछ लाखो में अपना निशान छोड़ गए.

सोचते है कभी हम भी उन जैसे,
नीले अम्बर पर बादल बन छाए,
पर लड़ रहे है इस आसमा के नीचे,
कुछ रेशमी डोर से बंधे बंधन निभाए,

फिर तम्मानाये भी है पृथ्वी सम विशाल,
मन पर काबू पाना कोई खेल नहीं,
इसे समझाए या बहलाए, पर क्या,
बिना लगाम का घोड़ा कभी माने नहीं.

सोचते है इस दौड़ का हिस्सा बनकर,
यूँ ही ज़िन्दगी की दौड़ दौड़ते रहे,
कभी बीच सड़क आये मन में ये ख़याल,
दौड़ है ज़िन्दगी या हम ज़िन्दगी से रहे.

कोशिश करने वालो की कभी हार नहीं होती,
बुजुर्गो हा यह ज्ञान साथ लिए,
अपने तत्वों को झकझोरते हुए,
इस कूट- नीती का हिस्सा बनकर जिए.

ज़िन्दगी बस यू ही चलनी है,
क्या खोया, क्या पाया किसका है गम,
ज़िन्दगी का हाथ थामे कुछ पल ही हुए,
अब तो कठिन इम्तिहान की और रुके न कदम.

C’est la Vie.

Searching for the reason for my survival has been the most challenging task of my life. i came across many intriguing philosophies and rather coined a few of my own as well. I have been philosophical since an early age and there was a time when i lived an idealistic life. Every day of my life was calculated and perfect. But the situation was different back then. My survival skills were tested in a restricted arena. No sooner did i step into a larger arena then i realized my philosophies appeared pleasant only on paper. In real life, the scenario is altogether different. As they say,”Easier said then done.” There is no scarcity of philosophies and ideologies, but, very few actually help you survive.

While still a child i was a complaining one. Never happy with what life had to offer. However, clever enough to dig my own way through and get things my way. But all that wit proved insufficient in the larger image of life. I found it difficult to spot myself in that picture. Although, i didnt complain about life, life never seemed to favour me. I have witnessed so much in life that i possess a strong understanding about it. Yet, i could nevere claim that i completely knew what life is. The most important lesson that i learnt was the difference between reality and philosophy. Many fail to see the thin line between the two. However, i had an experience which completely shattered my idea of survival on philosophical basis as well as practical .

Once, i went to a church along with my mother. On my way back, i spotted this certain beggar who was lying along the footpath. The pityful thing about him was that he had lost all his four limbs. As i walked towards him my mind was engulfed by an ocean of doubts. To me his survival didn’t make much sense. Firstly, he didn’t possess a single limb which made him completely dependent. There isn’t a single task in this world that he could do on his own. Someone had to be available for him 24×7. He couldnt prove any help to anyone.Secondly, he is a beggar. He leads a life of misery and poverty. His days couldn’t be any better. Then why is he accepting all the pain and still surviving. He might as well end his life and free himself from the agony and suffering. The moment i passed through him i saw him smile. I was stunned. It didn’t make any sense to me. People would give a thousand reasons for his survival saying that he has a right to survive or its his destiny or may be he is suffering for his past sins.But for me it was senseless. Also, what pricked my heart was that honest and peaceful smile on his face. I could sense the satisfaction in his heart at that moment. I learnt that there was something about life i could never learn. i couldnt figure out his purpose for survival.

We all have choices in life. With each choice we change our course in life. I am an atheist. i had a choice to go along with my mother to the church or meet her directly at the venue where we were both supposed to go together. I made a choice and it gave my life a new meaning. I have to search for more solutions. I have to see life with a diffrent approach. Life is unpredicatble and its unpredictability makes it worth living. Yet, there are people who feel that they could alter their destiny by learning their future. In the end, this descrption i began will sound incomplete. And why shouldnt it. Isnt life incomplete?

Voracious desires coming along,

As every moment surpasses will,

Slowly some facets defaced,

And life has a new tale to reveal.

From dawn to dusk life flows,

Turning, twisting, moving,

Reflecting at certain intervals,

Unveiling what the sight is seeing.

Not crossing the constraints implied,

A cozy companion within the fence,

But as the respect fades away,

May not provide another chance.

Truth is stranger than fiction,

Is yet another truth about life, well known,

Unpredictability makes it worth experiencing,

A few still wish to derange the upcoming dawn.

No one knows what lies beyond life,

Some say there exits a heaven and hell,

Sometimes this helps direct the actions,

For ones willing for a convenient grave to dwell.

Life can be for days or decades together,

Mere survival is not a life lived,

But many travel from cradle to grave,

Like a race ran alone hence nothing achieved.

सहल

जीवनाच्या सहलीला निघालो घरातून,
कधी सावली तर कधी डोक्यावर उन,
पावसाच्या सरी, गारव्याची शीत,
मनाला समजाविले, कोणाला आहेस भीत?
घरच्यांच्या पाठिंबा, मित्रांची साथ,
प्रत्येक संकटाला देउया मात,
सुख- दुखांच्या खेलानेच रमते ही सहल,
क्षणभराच्या अंतरावर असते काही नवल,
प्रत्येक उदय काही शिकवितो,
प्रत्येक अस्त हलूच बोलतो,
असतात दडलेली उत्तरे त्यात अनेक,
आहे प्रश्ण माझा फक्त एक,
कुठे आहे या सहलीचा अंत,
उत्तर सापड़ने वाटे कठिन अत्यंत,
पण अन्तापेक्षा वाट जरुरी,
काय अंत हे कोण विचारी,
खर्या अर्थान तोच जगला,
ह्या सहलीचा आनंद घेणे जो शिकला.

Experimenting with love!!

I stared at her for a long time. Although she realised it, she did not react making me unsure of my approach. Finally, she left and I, a strong believer in the philosophy of ‘love at first sight' stood silent cribbing to myself "I'm in love with her! I'm in love with her!"

However, I find the scenario quite different these days. Especially, in Mumbai city where western life manifests itself in every walk of life, people- to be more precise, teenagers- have become more broad minded and confident. Also walking hand in hand are qualities like recklessness and impatience. It has been my observation that western culture has implanted a sense of scrutiny over matters which were once blindly followed on basis of public opinion. Towards the end, it helps a teen to question but leaves him to his own fate to find a solution. Every facet in life always possesses some pros and cons and both fascinate individuals equally. But that's a social issue. As for love it has always been an issue, an unending one.

Although this topic asks for personal interference I'll try to generalise it.

Lately, a friend debated whether a teenager should express his feelings for the opposite sex he feels he is in love with. Although his complicated ideas did not yield any convincing result, it forced me to frame a second opinion. When I say this, the first question that comes to your mind is that what is my first opinion?

My first opinion was ‘experimenting with love'. One can never be sure about love at first sight. It is normally the seed of infatuation and attraction, nurtured by exchange of feelings, opinions and personal life which finally evolves into an evergreen tree of love. Love needs air to breathe, water to survive and an opportunity to succeed.

Witnessing the cupids display their archery skills on my friends, I always got dragged into these ‘matters'. However, they never yielded long lasting effects. But I learnt enough lessons to carry on an ideal affair irrespective of my feelings towards the girl.

There are very few people in this world who actually give these ideas a thought. Psychologically, most people get obsessed with the idea of being together with someone whom they feel they love. It would be difficult to find a teenager who would actually understand the difference or at least try to differentiate between love and infatuation. This does not imply that a person needs to be completely responsible and matured. It has been my observation that most teenagers who are aware about their responsibilities tend to fear falling in love. They take most ‘extra-ordinary feeling' as infatuation and in the least cases attempt to involve themselves into commitments. Its psychological, hence, reactions always differ among individuals.

I have witnessed several love stories. Some were successful and many unsuccessful. However, towards the end although I agree that psychology plays an important role in development of feelings it never changes the true meaning of love. All the while I have been thinking about teenage love and why most affairs collapse despite of strong commitments. It is now that I realise that the term love just takes different forms but its true meaning never changes.

Love does not change from mother to child, child to his brother or sisters and finally from husband to wife. It is not difficult to understand that terms like life, death, love, friendship, etc are very difficult to define. You may find millions of books filled with complicated philosophies on life and love. However, in the end they are all based on personal experiences. Our idea of love changes because most of the times our perception is based on our vision. Vision can only see physical movements and physical movements are outcome of one's psychology. Hence, each individual's opinions and reactions diversify the nature of love. One of the most beautiful love story that I have witnessed is that of my parents. On my scale, two persons with the nature similar to my parents have very low chances of getting along. It is said ‘opposites attract'. But how well do they get along? The only catalyst that makes it possible is love. Even after a long-term observation I could not describe their relationship. But one thing I always realised was that there was ‘something' that binds them despite of their differences and which kept their relationship intact through thick and thin.

To be honest after observing every love story I doubt my own knowledge about love. It might not be right to terminate this topic with some incomplete theories. However, any statement I make will only describe a few love stories but there will be thousand others who may be different. In the end, I have changed my opinion of experimenting with love. Generally, matters get complicated with inexperienced teenagers. By this statement I do not wish to claim that a person who has been through many affairs is more capable of finding true love. Loving someone is like accepting someone's responsibility. It is similar to being a mother or father. You do not bear a child just to retain your family name. It is because you are ready to accept the responsibility of a life you love more than your own. I assume this example says it all. The patience and sense of responsibility involved is self explanatory.

You cannot clap with one hand. The need for someone special is felt by each one of us. Sometimes I feel that we all are born incomplete and only our companion helps us achieve the satisfaction of being complete. In our times of sorrows when we loose all our strength to fight it is the love of that special person which provides enormous power. The strange phenomenon about love is that the person may not understand your problem, still he or she is able to soothe your wounds. I suppose, as the fruit of love is so pure and filling, not every farmer can harvest it in his backyard. It is well said, "Greater the difficulty, sweeter the victory."

Searching for identity.

Walking along with the crowd,

I see myself, then ask,
Where am I going?

I run with the crowd,

But stand alone, then ask,

What am I achieving?

I see the same as the crowd,

But perceive differently, then ask,

Why is it happening?

I laugh with the crowd,

But cry alone, then ask,

How am I reacting?

I sleep with the crowd,

But dream alone, then ask,

When was I sharing?

I talk with the crowd,

But discuss alone, then ask,

Whom am I trusting?

I behave as the crowd,

But act alone, then ask,

Whose part am I playing?

I can only see the crowd,

Still searching alone, then ask,

Do I possess an identity of my own?